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Finding Your Purpose (And How You’ve Got it All Wrong)

“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.”

— Barbara Hall

Hi friends! Today I want to talk with you about finding your purpose...and how you’ve got it all wrong. Yep - you heard me. You’ve got it wrong.

And I’ll tell you why we all have got it wrong.

How many of you out there have seen Legally Blonde with Reese Witherspoon? Wasn’t that a great, feel-good movie? Reese plays a sorority girl, Elle Woods, who has great friends, a great boyfriend, and a great life. And she thought she was going to end up marrying her boyfriend Warner Huntington III…what a name, right?

They’re at dinner, and she thinks he’s going to propose but instead he breaks up with her to go to Harvard Law School. And Elle is blind-sided and devastated. But then she has an epiphany - Elle believes that if she can get into Harvard Law, she can win Warner back. And poof, just like that, Elle Woods found her purpose in life as a lawyer!

Now although her original reasons for going to Law School were superficial, she basically fell into her life’s purpose in this movie. She worked hard and everything worked out perfectly in the end.

Now I wouldn’t change this movie at all - it’s super fun and cute, but it’s pretty unrealistic, right?

Hollywood and the movies have taught us that our life purpose will just fall out of the sky one day and hit us on the head like an epiphany. And all of a sudden we’re going to know what we are meant to do with our lives.

For a select few of us, this may have actually happened. But for the vast majority, finding your purpose doesn’t work that way.

We’ve developed some misconceptions around finding your purpose that even I have fallen for.

Finding Your Purpose Will Not Likely Be a Eureka Moment

The first misconception is that finding your purpose is always a eureka moment. We’ve established that that’s simply not usually the case.

The reality is that finding your purpose actually takes trial and error. It requires that you experiment with life and evaluate how fulfilled those activities make you feel.

My very first internship was with a local newspaper - it was called People Newspapers. It was a summer in high school - I think it was between my sophomore and junior year. At the time, I thought I wanted to be a journalist. And I was going to go to Journalism School once I got into college.

I was by far the youngest intern there - most of the other interns were in college. Maybe it was just the fact that I was younger and less experienced than my peers, but I very quickly found out that I did not like the job.

I wasn’t used to the journalistic style of writing - it didn’t come naturally to me. And I was constantly filled with anxiety about what article was going to get assigned to me next - I couldn’t handle the fast-paced nature of the news world.

But I tell you this story because had I not experimented with this particular internship, I most certainly would have started my education at university in the Journalism School. And I would have gone through the same process of learning that I didn’t like that and that it was not what I thought it would be.

I’m thankful that I had that internship when I did because it saved me from having to spend a lot more time and money figuring out what I didn’t want once in college.

Finding your purpose takes time and it requires that you try different things. You won’t really know whether you like something or not until you try it. Or at least until you explore that potential avenue by researching or talking to friends in that field. You have to be willing to explore different activities and let yourself learn how you like them or not.

Your Purpose Can Change

The next misconception is that finding your purpose is an end-all, be-all experience. Once you’ve found it, that’s what you’ll do and who you’ll be for the rest of your life.

Once again, that’s simply not true.

Just as you learn and grow as a human being on this earth, your purpose may change with you.

You know, I had a blog before this one. It was called Beaux and Belles. I must have started it in my early 20’s after graduating. It doesn’t exist anymore so you can’t look it up, but it was about event planning and at-home hosting. This was my first time in the world of blogging.

I learned a ton from this experience about blogging, and it actually helped me develop new skills that I still use today both with the blog and in my marketing career.

But my point of sharing this with you is that at the time, my mission was to become an event planner. I still love event planning, and I jump at the chance to do this when I can in my career. But my purpose of becoming an event planner for the stars has faded away as other aspects in my life have changed.

The constant yearn to blog and be an online educator has remained consistent for me over the years. But my underlying purpose has changed regarding the blog.

I’m no longer focused on writing about event planning. And I’m not even just focused on travel anymore either, which was the original purpose of The Jet Set Blonde. I’ve now evolved The Jet Set Blonde’s purpose to be all about when travel meets personal development.

And for me, this purpose holds so much more meaning and power behind it. In light of the fact that we are all not traveling right now because of COVID-19, having a travel blog just didn’t feel like enough anymore. I wanted people to understand that they could still have a jet set life regardless of whether they’re physically traveling the world or not.

When I started to focus on topics like practicing gratitude, seeking adventure in our everyday, and celebrating often, that felt right to me. It felt far more meaningful than a travel itinerary ever could (not that I don’t love a good travel itinerary!)

But here’s why I know that I’ve landed on something that really fuels my purpose. In the past few weeks that I’ve been working on this, I’ve felt excited to get out of bed in the morning. I wake up in the middle of the night with ideas for how to make The Jet Set Blonde better. I wake up without any feeling of dread or anxiety about what the day may bring.

You know your purpose when you feel a profound sense of satisfaction about what you’re doing with your life.

I’m going to say that again - you know your purpose when you feel a profound sense of satisfaction about what you’re doing with your life.

That profound sense of satisfaction may evolve with time - and that’s okay! Maybe in your 20’s, your profound sense of satisfaction came from achievements in your career. And maybe now, your purpose is all about being a good mother.

Purpose is adaptive, just as you are. And that’s okay - contrary to popular belief, your purpose can change over time.

Okay, now that we’ve got the misconceptions out of the way, you’re probably like, “Brittany, but how do I start to find my purpose?”

Step 1: Practice self-awareness

And I would say the first step to this is self-awareness.

Are you in tune with your thoughts and feelings about your interests and preferences?

Do you recognize activities that bring you joy and pleasure?

What about activities that feel uncomfortable or unnatural to you?

Being aware of those thoughts is the first step in coming closer to what you define as your purpose.

Now, we all have tasks in our daily lives that we don’t like. Finding your purpose isn’t a cure-all; it doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you’re going to be happy with every activity you come across.

For example, I love working on The Jet Set Blonde, but I hate doing the taxes for them each year. But that’s part of the job as an entrepreneur. The satisfaction still outweighs the less fun moments. And eventually, as you become more successful in fulfilling your life’s purpose, you may have the opportunity to outsource some of those less-loved activities.

But my point here is pretty simple - start trying to identify the things you like doing and the things you don’t like doing.

Step 2: Identify your strengths

Another important step in finding your purpose is to identify your strengths. I was speaking with my sister the other day - she’s a teacher and her school recently invested in Strengthfinder assessments for their teachers. After you complete an assessment, you can learn what your top 5 strengths are.

My sister was really excited to share the results with me (as she should be because this type of information can be a game changer!)

As we discussed, it occurred to me that she had never had the opportunity to identify what her strengths were. This actually really surprised me; I assumed that most people knew what their strengths were already from a young age. I was a Management major for my undergrad, so needless to say leadership education was a big part of my studies.

As I spoke with my sister, I realized that I had taken for granted the fact that I had access to quite a few personality and strength tests in my past. Because of them, I always had a very strong sense of who I was and what my strengths were.

But this is not the case for most, as I now know. So I encourage you to take some time to really identify what your strengths are - the more you know and understand about yourself, the more clear your purpose will become.

Although I highly recommend the book StrengthFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath as a great starting point, there are other ways to identify your strengths. Talk to your friends and family. Ask them what they think your strengths are. The answers may surprise you.

Another way is to volunteer. There are many different types of volunteer opportunities out there. The tasks may not be rocket science, but you can still learn about yourself.

For me, I always loved volunteering at the local food banks and at our church’s thrift shop. Those experiences taught me that I love assembly lines and processes - I’m a nerd, I know. Those experiences taught me that I have attention to detail and I’m task-oriented. Maybe your strength is the gift of gab - you could try adopting a grandparent in a nursing home and just regularly check in on them to chat. Try it on and see how it fits!

Step 3: Be a student of life

My final step in finding your purpose is to be a student of life. Never stop learning. Expose yourself to new perspectives and new beliefs. The more you learn about yourself and the world around you, the more you’ll be able to gain a sense of meaning and purpose.

Something as simple as reading or listening to podcasts can help show you new ways of thinking and how others live. By seeing purpose in the lives of others, you’re more likely to see it in your own life.

Not only should you continue to learn in life, but you should also approach it with a sense of awe and gratitude. This will allow you to have an open-mind and an emotional connection with the new information that you come across.

With gratitude comes an appreciation for your life and the world around you, and this feeling can foster a drive to make a positive impact on the world. When we see how others make our world a better place, we are more willing to give something back to it.

With love,

Key Takeaways

Number One:

Your purpose will probably not come from a singular eureka moment like we see in the movies. Finding your purpose takes time, and it requires that you try different things. You have to be willing to explore different activities and let yourself learn how you like them or not.

Number Two:

Your purpose can evolve as you learn and grow in the world. Purpose is adaptive, just as you are. And that’s okay - contrary to popular belief, your purpose can change over time.

Number Three:

You know your purpose when you feel a profound sense of satisfaction about what you’re doing with your life.

Number Four:

Identify your preferences and your strengths. Take the time to really identify what your interests and strengths are - the more you know and understand about yourself, the more clear your purpose will become.

Number five:

Never stop learning and approach life with a sense of awe and gratitude. The more you learn and appreciate about yourself and the world around you, the more you’ll be able to gain a sense of meaning and purpose.