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“Real style is never right or wrong. It’s a matter of being yourself on purpose.”
Staying at Home in Style
It’s January...and typically around this time of year, I get some seasonal depression. The excitement of the holidays has passed. It’s getting colder outside. There’s less sunlight in the day. Then on top of all that, there’s still a lot of restrictions right now with the pandemic.
I spoke with a friend of mine yesterday who lives in Australia. He was asking about the tenuous political situation right now in the U.S. and generally asking about our wellbeing here in Texas. And I was honest with him and said that lately I haven’t been feeling my best. It occurred to me that I hadn’t gotten dressed up for a long time. It’s amazing how an outfit can transform how we feel - either for the better or the worse. Without a real occasion to dress up, I haven’t really felt inspired to get dressed up. But then he suggested that I just have a fancy night in - and of course, I was like, YES! That’s exactly what I need.
This year, I decided that I’m not going to sink into that seasonal slump. Instead, I’m going to enjoy staying in and make it fun. I’m all for hanging around the house in my comfies but it’s important to remember that we can also be stylish any time, regardless of the occasion or the location. Just because I’m spending more time indoors doesn’t mean that I have to feel bad or sad or lazy about it.
So today, let’s talk about staying at home in style and why it’s important for our mental health. Let’s start with the definition of style. Style is defined as a manner of doing something. It’s the way you choose to do things. It’s the flair and the energy that you put into it. If style is a manner of doing something, then we really could do anything in style, right? It’s about the intention we put into whatever we choose to do.
Focus on Intent
The action is less important than the intent. You can choose the manner in which you do anything, so why not do it in style, right? So if you’re going to stay in, consider the energy that you want to put behind it. If you decide to watch a movie, how can you make it a fun, relaxing, and luxurious experience?
For me, I’d want to ensure several things physically and mentally before choosing to watch a movie in style. First, I’d want to get in some comfortable clothes and get a nice, big, warm blanket ready. Then, I may pop some popcorn or pour a glass of red wine. Next, I’d dim the lights and light a few candles for ambiance. And finally, I would turn my phone off or turn it on silent to avoid distractions.
You can see how these little details of intention can all add to watching that movie in style. What we are really talking about here in today’s post is intentional living. How many of you feel like there are some days that you are sleep walking? Like you’re just going through the motions? How does it feel to live life that way? Not great, right?
I’m not saying that I feel 100% all of the time, but doesn’t it feel so much better to live with intention. To choose what you want to do, then do it with style? What it really comes down to is the energy that you choose to put behind something.
Now watching a movie is probably something pretty easy to do in style, but let’s talk about something harder. What if I told you that you could do the dishes in style? What if you decided to clean your closet with style?
That may be more difficult for your brain to wrap your head around. But it’s totally achievable. Why? Because it all comes down to how you choose to think about it. How can you choose to see household chores in a new light? Focus on seeing the opportunity in it. How can doing the dishes be an opportunity?
Maybe it’s a chance for you to listen to a quick podcast or a chapter of an e-book - maybe it’s your opportunity to learn something new in that time.
Or maybe you can choose to channel your energy on the feeling you’ll have after that task is done. How will having a clean sink in the morning affect your entire next day? Starting the day with a sink full of dirty dishes that sat overnight can impact the energy that you bring into your entire next day. So instead, focus on that end feeling of how nice it will feel to wake up to a tidy kitchen versus a messy one.
So as you’re staying at home, ask yourself, “What’s the opportunity in this activity?” “What kind of energy do I want to bring into this activity?” And from there, you’ll be able to find creative ways to accomplish any activity with style.
Assess your Wardrobe
The next point I want to talk about is your wardrobe. And this is one that I’m actually currently in the process of doing.
Full outfit from White House Black Market.
I had finally figured out what my work style was - it was comfortable enough to work in but also stylish enough to be elegant and business casual for the work setting.
But now most of us are working at home now, like myself. Which don’t get me wrong, I’m naturally an introvert, so I love the fact that we are working at home, but it’s certainly had an impact on my style as a result.
Now I could choose to wear my business casual clothing everyday simply because I want to, and if you are one of those people, I fully support and applaud you. But for many of us, that’s simply not a realistic ask, especially if your kids are now at home with you and not physically in school. So, in light of this, I’ve been assessing my wardrobe to try and nail down how to stay at home in style with a more relaxed and casual but polished look.
When the pandemic first hit and I lost my job, I could have easily stayed in a robe all day long. But I knew that this wasn’t healthy for my mindset or my schedule, so I made a rule to always get up and get dressed in something other than sweatpants or leggings every day.
My trusty pair of boyfriend jeans have become my staple go-to item in my closet as I’m identifying my new relaxed, casual style.
Another thing that I’ve been doing is paying more attention to the quality of clothing that I’m putting on my body as well as the fit of the clothing. Considering that it’s winter time, I’ve been investing in some quality sweaters that I can pair easily with some jeans. They aren’t super tight but they’re warm so they are perfect for working in because I hate trying to get work done when I’m cold. I actually keep a space heater at my desk because I can’t concentrate if I’m cold. But with the appropriate wardrobe, I don’t have that problem.
Something else that you can do when assessing your wardrobe is to not forget about accessorizing. Now I’ll admit that I’m probably weakest in the art of accessorizing when it comes to style because I like to keep things simple. But it’s amazing how a scarf or a piece of jewelry can really complete a look and elevate the overall style. So even though we are at home, throw on a cute silk scarf with your jeans and white tee, and you’ll instantly look more stylish.
A final note around your wardrobe when staying at home in style is to not forget about your loungewear. Yes, even loungewear can be stylish. And you can even have fun with it. Now I’m not hating on an oversized t-shirt because we all have one that we love sleeping in, but have you ever slept in silk pajamas? It’s super luxurious and comfortable.
Have you ever walked around in cashmere slippers? What about a fancy robe? There are these gorgeous extravagant robes on Amazon and Etsy right now that people are describing as “long robes to murder your husband in.” While I certainly don’t want to murder my husband, I adore these sexy tulle robes trimmed with ruffles and feathers. My point here is that even if you are staying at home, you can find ways to make it fun and luxurious no matter the occasion.
Love Being by Yourself
I think another reason that women have difficulty staying at home in style is because they actually are not comfortable alone with their own thoughts. And this is probably because their brain is going crazy, right?
They would rather do anything but be by themselves at home - we try to distract ourselves with work, with shopping, with going out with friends, with eating or drinking. Because those thoughts inside our head are telling us that we are flawed, broken, and not enough. But you’re not the one that is flawed - your thoughts are. And that’s really great news, right, because we have the power to change our thoughts.
Whenever that starts happening to you, get a journal out and start writing down all of those thoughts. And as you write those down, you may start realizing why you don’t want to be with you. Because a lot of those thoughts are so unkind, right? But the beautiful thing about this is that you can change this.
We can’t really shut off the thoughts that run through our head on a daily basis, but we do have the power to listen to those thoughts or not. Sometimes I get crazy thoughts in my head. Or super unhelpful thoughts. But I can choose to disregard those thoughts and just say to myself, “Oh there you go again brain.”
Some women even give those thoughts a persona. They’ll say to themselves, “I hear you Tiffany, but we're not thinking that today.” You can change your thinking to the point where you actually love your company and feel perfectly content being by yourself.
As you look at those thoughts on paper, question them. Do you want to believe that about yourself? How do those thoughts make you feel? Are those thoughts helpful to you in achieving what you want?
Then, consider a different approach. Start writing down what you would rather be feeling. What do you want to believe about yourself? What thoughts do you need to think to feel that way? What thoughts would be more helpful in getting you to achieve what you want?
Then focus on those thoughts. Start changing the narrative inside your head. I know this is possible, because I’m living proof of it. As some of you know, I struggled with a serious eating disorder in late high school and early college. The thoughts in my head were so ruthless and hateful. I was a raging perfectionist, and the thoughts inside of my head were fiercely intolerable of anything less than perfect. And I hated it. I felt like I had created my own prison. My head was a jail cell for my soul. I know that sounds dramatic but that’s truly how I felt at the time.
After several years of this, I was miserable and completely unfulfilled with my life. And I knew that something needed to change. So gradually, I started to change the narrative in my head. And little by little, I chipped away at that mental prison that I had created for myself.
Living life with style is about asking yourself higher quality questions. It’s about focusing on the answers to useful questions. Playing the what-if game doesn’t help you. What if I fail? What if I never find love? What if I never lose the weight? What if I get sick?
Start asking yourself more creative questions - questions that produce answers that are actually helpful to you. And show yourself lots of grace in the process. You’re going to have lazy days when you want to stay curled up in a ball in bed all day. You’re going to have ugly days when you feel like a ragamuffin. Because your human. And that’s okay.
But in every single moment, there’s an opportunity for you to turn back to yourself. Every moment presents the opportunity for you to get back to living life in style, the way that you dream of, as the woman you want to be.
It won’t be perfect. But it will be intentional. I want you to wake up out of your long slumber, your winter hibernation, and start living life with eyes wide open. It’s about being aware of your thoughts and feelings. It’s about being aware of the energy you bring to the table. It’s about choosing to do life in style.
author bio
Known as The Jet Set Blonde, Brittany Ryan inspires others to add more adventure to their childfree travel experiences. Brittany has visited 23 countries (and counting!) Connect with her to get access to detailed childfree travel itineraries, travel guides for weekend getaways, and updates on adult-only hotels, resorts, cruises, and other travel amenities.
