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4 Tips for Making Decisions Effectively

We all have to make decisions every day. And we actually make a lot of them every day - I mean a lot. It’s actually estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each and every day. Now the decisions that we make can be helpful or unhelpful to us. Not all decisions have such a weighty impact on us, but certain decisions can affect us positively or negatively.

Because decision making is part of our everyday lives we need to learn how to be efficient with this process. I see many people get caught in ineffective decision making habits - the two most common being, avoiding making decisions altogether, or making the same unhelpful decision over and over again.

In the first group, this is where many of my perfectionists live. We get caught in a place of indecision because we’re afraid of making the wrong decision. So they feel paralyzed and stuck. When we are avoiding decisions, we are slowing forward-moving behavior and thus our progress.

In the second group, I see women making the same decisions many times over, expecting to see change, but they keep getting the same results. This is because for true change to occur, we need to make different decisions. If you keep making the same decisions, you’ll get the same results.

So let’s start by understanding why people get hung up when making decisions. The moment we make a decision, we step into the unknown. We don’t necessarily know the outcome when a big decision is made, so it can feel scary. Our brains like the familiar; our brains like to keep us in a safe, reliable place that doesn’t push us out of our comfort zones. But decision making inherently does that, which is why people struggle with it.

Because of the fear of the unknown, we either avoid decision making altogether or we make the same decisions again and again because we’re more likely to get results that we expect.

In the Jet Set Society, we believe in making decisions effectively. We want to make simple and refined decisions that help us reach our goals and help us to live the life we dream of. So today, I’m starting a 2-part series on effective decision making so that you can either move out of paralysis or start making more helpful decisions that give you better results. Today I’ll share 4 tips and next week I’ll share 4 more tips for a total of 8 tips on making decisions more effectively. So let’s get started.

Tip #1 - Don’t look to others to make your decision for you.

Stop asking other people what you should do. I’m good with you getting advice from other people - in fact I like getting advice and listening to each other often. I’m a big believer in having mentors and seeking inputs and perspectives from people that you trust.

But don’t make decisions for yourself simply because your best friend told you to or your mom told you to. You should not be delegating your decision-making when it comes to important decisions that will affect your future. Listen to your inner instinct. Pay attention to your gut - what is it telling you?

Limit the number of people you seek advice from and make sure that you’re listening to only people who you implicitly trust. What happens when you start asking a wider pool of people is that you’re going to start getting more and more opinions and options for your decision because we all have different human experiences and perspectives in the world. The more people you ask, the more variety of answers and opinions you’ll receive - which will likely cause unnecessary confusion.

For example, take fashion. If you decided that you wanted to be stylish, and you started asking friends and family for their opinions on fashion and style, you’re going to get a lot of different answers. Because style is a personal thing. Some women prefer neutrals while other women love bright, bold colors. Some women prefer dainty jewelry while others opt for larger, statement pieces. Both would be considered fashionable in their own right but it ultimately boils down to personal preference. Instead of asking other people how you should dress, try learning about fashion as a topic instead - learn about the history, learn about color principles. Become educated on the topic itself so that you can make your own decision on what style is best for you. Ultimately you need to own your decisions, and the only way you can do that is by making them for yourselves.

People sometimes defer to doing what others tell them because it subconsciously provides them with a scapegoat. If that decision doesn’t work out for some reason, they feel as though they can blame that person instead of themselves. But here’s the thing about that too - there shouldn’t ever be blame in your decision making. Have I made decisions that I reflected on and thought I would have handled that better? Of course! I have many instances where that’s happened. But I don’t blame myself for it because I made the best decision I could in that moment with the information that I had available to me. If it doesn’t work out, I try to understand what I can do differently or better in the future. Learn from it, don’t blame yourself for it.

Tip #2: Recognize your decision making patterns.

A lot of us don’t realize the decisions we make all of the time. We go through the motions of our day without stopping to understand how we’re feeling and why we’re feeling that way. So I want you to start bringing awareness to your decision making throughout the day. You may be surprised but what your tendencies lean to.

There are 7 common decision making patterns that I’m going to point out to you now. Many of us have tendencies toward one or more of these patterns when we aren’t being intentional about our decision making. As I explain each one, consider which of these may resonate with you most.

The first pattern is a wish pattern. A wish pattern is when you choose something that you believe will lead to the most desirable result, regardless of the risk. This is where emotions and wishes override the facts. For example, you may be dating someone that has very bad habits. But you hope that by marrying him, they will change. This is an example of a wish pattern.

The next pattern is the escape pattern. An escape pattern is when you choose something in order to avoid the worst possible result. This one is primarily driven by fear of the unknown. For example, you may decide to not attend a party in fear that no one will talk to you.

The next pattern is the safe pattern. A safe pattern is when you choose something based on the belief that it will be the most likely option to bring you success. This one doesn’t sound that detrimental, right? Of course we want to choose options that bring us success. But here’s the catch. You’re making safe decisions at the expense of discovering or learning new things. An example of this is when you choose to enroll in a writing class knowing you’re a good writer, rather than taking another subject that actually really interests you but you don’t know how well you’d do, so you pick the safe class. This pattern comes up a lot with people that have fixed mindsets. People with fixed mindsets believe that they are born with certain talents and no amount of study or growth can result in greater success, therefore they should stick with what they’re good at.

The fourth decision making pattern is the impulsive pattern. What immediately comes to mind for you with impulsive decision making? I instantly think of shopping. I definitely have made a few impulsive buys in my lifetime. This pattern means that you make a decision without giving it much thought or investigation. This may result in you picking the first, immediate option, without evaluating any other potential option. An example of this would be inviting your new love interest to move in with you early on in the relationship, without having evaluated the advantages and disadvantages.

The fifth decision making pattern is the fatalistic pattern. This is where you let the environment decide for you - you leave it up to fate. For example, you decide to run in a marathon without having trained for it.

The next is the compliant pattern. And this is what we touched on in tip #1. This is when someone has the tendency to let other people decide for them. Someone showing this pattern tends to give in to group pressure. This one is pretty self-explanatory - think of examples of peer pressure, and you get the idea.

And the final pattern in decision making is the delaying pattern. And that’s one that I mentioned before that I see a lot - someone will decide to postpone the act of deciding. This is commonly associated with procrastination. For example, you wait to study for an exam until the night before.

So did any of these resonate with you? I wanted to share these with you because the first step in bringing awareness to your decision making habits is to first understand what types of habits are frequently displayed. When we have knowledge around the subject, we can more easily bring awareness to it. That’s when we can then make a decision to change.

Tip #3: Limit your options.

There’s actually such a thing as decision fatigue, where we can get so overwhelmed and tired with making decisions that we lose our ability to reason. This isn’t necessarily a physical response, where you’re tired and want to lay down, but instead it drains mental energy. And when we make decisions with low mental energy, we’re more likely to make more reckless decisions that cut corners and aren’t in our best interest.

When I think about this, I immediately think of food choices. When you’re hangry, you’re more likely to make less healthy food choices. It’s easier to maintain a healthy diet when you eat regularly and avoid becoming ravenous. When we’re super tired after a long day at work, we may be more tempted to just go through the fast food drive through as opposed to making a healthier meal for ourselves at home. I get it - I’ve totally been there.

We want to limit our decisions so that we are less likely to have decision fatigue. And when I use the word limit, I know some of you ladies are instantly thinking restriction. Many of us have an adverse reaction to anything that makes them feel restricted. But I like to think of it as simplifying. By making certain decisions upfront about what you will decide to eat and not eat, your decisions are instantly simplified, and then there’s less options to choose from.

Another area that I’ve been working on limiting my decisions with is my personal finances. I’ve been pretty decent with money over the years in general but lately, I’ve found myself wanting to get serious about saving for retirement and making other more responsible spending decisions. So I’m limiting my decisions by sticking to a monthly budget. That way, when something I’ve been eyeing goes on sale, I can look at my budget and determine whether or not I have enough to make the purchase. If I don’t have it, my decision has been made for me because I limited my decision making process to only buy non-essential items when my budget allows for it.

I’ve also started to limit the brands that I buy from. In terms of clothing, I really only like to buy from places that have high quality materials, lots of online reviews, and good return policies. When I was younger, I did a lot of shopping at places like Forever 21 and Wet Seal. There’s nothing wrong with those places, but as I’ve grown older, I just have decided that that’s not where I want to shop anymore. And instantly my decision making is simplified.

Tip #4: Make decisions as your future first class self.

My jet setters know what your future first class self means, but for those of you who are new here, let me explain. Your future first class self is the woman sitting up in first class of the plane, already living the life of your dreams. She thinks high-caliber thoughts and exudes first class emotions. This is your future first class self. We need to be making decisions as our future first class selves, not based on where we are today, in the present.

So envision your future first class self. How does she feel? What thoughts does she think? What decisions does she make? What did she have to do to get to where she is today? What did she have to stop doing to get to where she is?

That’s the type of energy that we want to be tapping into. That’s the place that we need to be making our decisions from.

I recently made an investment in joining a new Pilates gym. And it’s an investment. More money than a regular gym and certainly more money than exercising outside. But as I thought about my future self, I recognized that she is a woman who has energy and feels good about herself. She takes time out to stretch and tone and get away from sitting at her desk all day because she values her health and her body. So this decision was about so much more than a membership. It was the internal change of me making a decision from the perspective of the woman I wanted to become. Even though my thoughts were racing about how much money it was and how I should just walk outside for free, I ultimately feel like it’s been the right decision for me because I made that decision from where I wanted to be.

So channel the energy from your future first class self when you make your next decision, and ask yourself what your future first class self would do.

So let’s do a quick recap. Today’s tips are:

Don’t look to others to make your decision for you.
Recognize your decision making patterns.
Limit your options.
Make decisions as your future first class self.

Next week, I’ll share with you 4 more tips for making decisions effectively, and after this week and next, you’ll be well on your way to being a woman who makes decisions effortlessly because they’re in complete alignment with her goals and values.